Edith CHUKU / Gift BARIKWA
TNN took to the streets of Port Harcourt, the capital city of Rivers State and beyond to find out why, in many cases, husbands die before their wives.
The reactions during the vox pop had over 76 per cent of both male and female respondents positing that husbands die before their wives, while the rest believes otherwise, saying that only God decides who dies first.
TNN went further to enquire why husbands die before their wives. These are what the respondents had to say:
Imam Shefiu Abdulkareem Majemu, the Chief Imam of the Islamic Platform Society of Nigeria and the founder of the Strength in Diversity Development Centre, Nigeria.
Husbands die before their wives because they face more dangers in their efforts to protect and fend for their family. They are more exposed to all sorts of hardships and rigour, all to make their family live well.
Another reason is that most men are actually older than their wives and that makes them to be more liable to die earlier than their wives.
Some husbands endanger their lives due to their waywardness. It is the husband that wants to enjoy extramarital affairs, takes alcohol and engage in other vices, hence they tend to create problems for themselves which eventually cut short their lives.
The quest to own mundane or materials things is also synonymous to husbands who crave for affluence and make their wives more comfortable and in the long run, they eventually reduce their life span.
Another important reason is that some wives would actually want to be the only heir and as a result cause the death of the husband.
The Reverend Adefunsi Moses Adebowale, a presbyter and Ikwerre District Secretary.
“There are many factors that can lead to that. First, is the biological factor; the sperm that is released by the man, perhaps the XX and XY chromosomes, you will discover that the one that will hit a girl travels a longer distance than the one that produces a man; so men are weaker in stamina than women.
Then, aside that, you know that men struggle a lot; they struggle heavily, carrying overload, they are responsible for their wife, cater for children, his own parents, siblings and that of the wife’s family, as the case may be.
Apart from physically carrying over load, an average man is always loaded with emotional and psychological trauma. The woman can easily shake off anxiety, worries, the moment a woman cries out, the pain is over. But the man will carry it in his mind. For the women, it is easy for them to voice out, but the man will harbour it within himself, and that leads to a slow and gradual death.
Now, you also discover that most men think that they are enjoying life and what are they calling enjoyment? Cigarette and alcohol. Some think they are enjoying life by carrying so many women, they want to sleep with this woman, have sexual intercourse with her, they want to sleep with the other woman, the other one, and things like that and they forget that each woman they sleep with, they release sperm into the woman and this thing they are releasing is part of life and it is telling on them seriously. So, all these factors put together makes the man to die before his time.
The Reverend Angalapu E. Orlando, is the Youth Coordinator of Ikwerre District, also the South-South Zone 1 Coordinator, and National Secretary.
“For me what leads to that is, we look at it medically, it has some medical implication, some socio-economic implication, it also has some post traumatic implication, psychological implication, but let me begin with the national life expectancy rate for now, it used to be 50 years, life expectancy for our country Nigeria, but currently as I speak it has dropped to 45, ranging from environmental pollution, stress of cost of living in the country, and the need for men to meet up with the requirements of keeping their families intact.
They over stretch and that is not very okay for their life and then they die that easy, men don’t bear pains, they are more energetic and strong, but they don’t bear pains like the women, so they tend to die under the pressure that they get from meeting up with the demands from their personal life, demands from their families, demands from the society, in trying to keep up with all of those demands they die quicker, that is one point.
Number two, the man as he is made, is meant to be biblical speaking, the man is under a curse, if not for Jesus, when Adam fell, the man was placed under a curse, and the woman’s desire was supposed to be upon him, that is not an easy joke like we read it in the bible, and most times women mount pressure on the man, they feel that the man is not meeting up but they don’t know that he is straining himself, I am speaking from my own perspective, he may not talk, he may not want to disclose, he wants to be the man he is, but at the end of the day he becomes the loser, because he would want to make an impression to keep feet and by that he runs into some heart problems, blood pressure, he starts thinking, doesn’t sleep at night, and most likely, socio-economically, he doesn’t even have the time to go to the hospital for checkup, and ignores his state of health just to meet up responsibilities, he breaks down yet stretches himself the more, he wants to see how he can carry everybody along, sadly he dies out of several factors including illnesses he neglected, and the woman is left alone. Well, a lot of factors are responsible for husbands dying before their wives.
Mr. Sabastian: If there is no love in a marriage, if the wife did not love the husband and the wife did not reach the level of the man, there will be no peace in that marriage and once no peace and love in a marriage, see death see the man. Women are one of the major causes of the early demise of a man.
Mrs. Helen Worlu: It’s not true; women are not the cause of the early demise of their husband. Land issue is among one of the things that causes the early death of men. When they fight over land with their brother, relatives or community their opponent can go as far as being diabolic to harm the other. This land issue is also what contributed to the early death of my father.
Mrs. Felicia Worlu: From what I observe, men cannot endure hunger, any man who goes out and comes back home and the wife did not prepare food for the man to eat as he returns from work can cause thinking and thinking can kill. Any woman that did not give her husband peace in the house even though there is nothing, they should plan it together because some men don’t like problems. When there is no peace, it makes men to stay out late because they are avoiding home, their coming home is to sleep; no rest of mind. This can kill a man.
Mr. Emannuel Wosu: Most men drink and smoke a lot, they will not know when cancer will come in while some like eating junk or canned food a lot, from there cancer can come in without them knowing, which can also lead to their death. If a woman cheats on her husband and uses the money to cook for the man to eat, it can kill a man, especially in Ikwerre tradition. It’s a taboo for a woman to do such.”
Mr. Emmanuel Imeh: Too much of sex can kill a man. Family problems can also kill a man such as house rent, school fees, relatives, mother in-law, children up keep. Poverty is also another cause that can also kill a man; lack of money with so many responsibilities can lead to thinking which causes high blood pressure, which can kill very fast.