February 18, 2025

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Reject the Temptation to Sow Seeds of Discord

3 min read

“A troublemaker plants seeds of strife; gossip separates the best of friends,” so declared the Biblical wisest man in Proverbs 16:28. In the words of Frederick Robertson, “You reap what you sow, not something else, but that. An act of love makes the soul more loving. A deed of humbleness deepens humbleness. The thing reaped is the very thing sown, multiplied a hundred fold. You have sown a seed of life, you reap life everlasting.” Let’s reflect on rejecting the temptation to sow seeds of discord among loved ones.

Do you know that sowing the seed of strife, disunity, confusion, hatred, distrust, etc. among friends, relatives, colleagues, team members, etc. is an act of inhumanity? While your act may appear to affect just the two people concerned, destroying relationships sometimes may go beyond keeping two people in nontalking terms to destroying future opportunities, closing windows of blessings, instituting strife where peace existed, creating tension where there was calmness and triggering actions that may lead to a chain of pain. Sometimes, the impact can affect generations and communities. While some justify their action on the basis that what they are saying about someone is the truth, the fact is that while it’s important to always speak truthfully, there are situations where certain truths might be better left unsaid, considering the potential for harm or negative consequences from sharing them.

So, enhance your capacity to be a builder of relationships rather than a sower of seeds to destroy relationships. As Frank Viola advised, “So the next time someone comes to you sowing seeds of discord of what someone allegedly said about you or what they allegedly think of you, there’s an excellent chance that they are sowing seeds of discord.” Does someone come to you to share what someone did to you, said about you, thinks of you, etc? While the tendency may be to welcome the messenger and give him or her maximum attention, spare some time to ask yourself, “But why is he or she telling me this?” Ask yourself the same question if you’re the messenger. Get to know the person’s intent first before opening your door to receive a message that may be seeds to destroy cherished relationships. Recognize that the mere fact that what you want to say is true is not enough justification to say it. Remember Voltaire’s counsel: “Everything you say should be true, but not everything true should be said.”

As you step, Frank Viola reminded you: “If your friend is sowing seeds of discord in your life, there’s a good chance that they are doing the same in the lives of others as well.” In all you do, recognize that while honesty is paramount, discretion is necessary. So, before sharing information, always weigh the potential impact, and if there is the slightest chance that good relationships may be harmed, please refrain from uttering a word irrespective of the pressure and pleasure.
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Prof. (Engr.) Esang Esitikot is a professor of occupational health and safety, a COREN-registed chemical engineer, public affairs analyst, certified management consultant, World Safety Organization Ambassador, recognized Environmental Ambassador, marriage counsellor, youth mentor, reviewer for some international research journals and volunteer lecturer at the Institute of Health, Safety, Security and Environment, University of Uyo. He is a manager in the oil and gas industry and was recognized by Highstone Global University, USA as the occupational health and safety personality of 2024. He can be contacted via 08035103559 (Whatsapp only) or email (esitikot@gmail.com).

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