Learn to Give Yourself the Agama Lizard Treatment

“Feel the fact that you are good enough,” so alluded Mark Nepo. To Katrina Mayer, “Loving yourself isn’t vanity; it’s sanity.” Let’s reflect on learning to appreciate your effort and sacrifices.

Do you know that sometimes, irrespective of what you have done, people may still not recognize or appreciate you? At such times, while the temptation may be to feel bitter and angry, another approach can be to develop the habit of appreciating yourself. Recall the story of the proverbial Agama lizard. We were told he jumped from the top of the iroko tree and landed on the ground. Looking left and right, nobody acknowledged his effort, but deep within him, he knew what it took to accomplish such a feat. With no appreciation from any direction, he chose to applaud himself by nodding his head in a symbolic taciturn declaration: “I’ve tried.” It’s unfortunate that despite the long list of life’s challenges and turbulence you may be facing, life may have also blessed you with many ingrates such that, in some instances, even when you have done your best and/or made unexplainable sacrifices, you may still be accused of doing nothing or abused for performing far below expectations. The tendency may be to feel bad, angry, discouraged, and possibly bitter. But how does that help? Rather, why not explore the path that makes you feel better?

So, enhance your capacity to celebrate your effort. Don’t let other people determine how you treat yourself. Avoid being too hard on yourself or setting unrealistic expectations for yourself. Recognize, as an unknown source said, “You were born to be real, not to be perfect.” Listen to Bronnie Ware: “Make happiness your priority and be gentle with yourself in the process.” Even when you have goofed, don’t push yourself over the bridge. As George Martin counselled, “Once you’ve accepted your flaws, no one can use them against you.” Sometimes, take your eyes off people you expect to appreciate your effort and close your ears from the boo of the nay sayers. Rather, take stock of your effort, recognize your sacrifices, remind yourself of the distance you’ve travelled and even if you are yet to get to your destination, like the Agama lizard, appreciate yourself that you’ve tried. As Ashley Graham advised, “Don’t fall into the trap of sacrificing your self-esteem for affection and acceptance.”

As you step out, don’t let other people’s actions or inaction make you overlook the need to recognize and appreciate yourself. Never forget what Mark Twain said: “A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.” And as Eleanor Roosevelt said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
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Prof. (Engr.) Esang Esitikot is a professor of occupational health and safety, a COREN-registed chemical engineer, public affairs analyst, certified management consultant, World Safety Organization Ambassador, recognized Environmental Ambassador, marriage counsellor, youth mentor, reviewer for some international research journals and volunteer lecturer at the Institute of Health, Safety, Security and Environment, University of Uyo. He works for an international oil company and can be contacted via 08035103559 (Whatsapp only).