Command the Respect You Desire

“It is difficult to have a presence that commands respect if you do not already respect yourself. Self-respect is imperative, not only because it impacts the way you are viewed by others, but because it encourages a positive view of self.” These were the words of Kelsey Pelzer. In Mahatma Gandh’s reflection, “I cannot conceive of a greater loss than the loss of one’s self-respect.” Let’s reflect on commanding the respect you desire.

Do you know that respect is commanded rather than demanded? In a world where people claim to be what they are not and ascribe to themselves “glories” they don’t have, respect seems scarce, though in high demand. It’s not uncommon to see someone remind another to respect him or her. Quite frequently, many display pride and use authority as instruments to gain respect. Unfortunately, these people do not know that the lifestyle they display repels respect. They seem to assume that respect is related to title, position, or class. Many, in their arrogant search for respect, have lost even the little respect they had. I wish these people are aware of Bruce Lee’s note: “Knowledge will give you power, but character respect.” I wish they know that to get respect, you need to give respect. I wish they are conscious that their character and way of life unconsciously attract the respect they need or dismss even the little they have. I wish they know, as Steve Hall would say, that “The truest form of love is how you behave toward someone, not how you feel about them.”

So, enhance your capacity to attract the respect you need. Know, as Laurence Sterne said, that “Respect for ourselves guides our morals, respect for others guides our manners.” Be conscious of William Boetcker’s counsel: “That you may retain your self-respect, it is better to displease the people by doing what you know is right, than to temporarily please them by doing what you know is wrong.” Consciously respect others irrespective of their position. Learn from Albert Einstein: “I speak to everyone in the same way, whether he is the garbage man or the president of the university.” Know that respecting others takes nothing from you and that your great position may be brought to ridicule by how you disrespectfully treat someone you consider lower than you. Even in disagreement, learn to maintain respect for the other party. As Taylor Swift noted, “We don’t need to share the same opinions as others, but we need to be respectful.” Remember Fyodor Dostoevsky’s counsel: “If you want to be respected by others, the great thing is to respect yourself. Only by that, only by self-respect will you compel others to respect you.”

As you step out, let your consistency, humility, sincerity, care, selfesteem, character, empathy, etc, command the respect you need. Never forget Don Ruiz’s words: “Respect is one of the greatest expressions of love.” So, love people by respecting them.
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Prof. (Engr.) Esang Esitikot is a professor of occupational health and safety, a COREN-registed chemical engineer, public affairs analyst, certified management consultant, World Safety Organization Ambassador, recognized Environmental Ambassador, marriage counsellor, youth mentor, reviewer for some international research journals and volunteer lecturer at the Institute of Health, Safety, Security and Environment, University of Uyo. He works for an international oil company and can be contacted via 08035103559 (Whatsapp only).