Focus on Getting it Right, Not Being Right
“People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel,” so alluded Maya Angelou. To a writer, “Wanting to get it right is living Above the Line, while wanting to be right is living Below the Line.” Let’s reflect on adopting the mindset of getting things right rather than being right.
Do you know that it’s more progressive to focus on getting things right than being right? While the former seeks a way forward, the latter seeks to preserve ego even at the detriment of relationships. In the words of Willard Quine and J.S. Ullian, “The desire to be right and the desire to have been right are two desires, and the sooner we separate them, the better off we are. The desire to be right is the thirst for truth. On all counts, both practical and theoretical, there is nothing but good to be said for it. The desire to have been right, on the other hand, is the pride that goeth before a fall. It stands in the way of our seeing we were wrong, and thus blocks the progress of our knowledge.” In Robert Paulson’s words, “Doing right is about recognizing the needs of a situation above the needs of your own. It includes you, but it is not about you. It’s about being curious, listening, learning, and finding the best solution, not your solution. It requires time and effort and often sometimes a lot of both. On the contrary, being right is making a situation about yourself, showing or proving to others that what you think and know is right. It takes less time and effort, limits possibilities, and restricts participation and contributions. It’s like closing a door versus opening a door. It’s the difference that makes the difference. Right?”
So, in your relationships and dealings with people, refocus your attention from wanting to be right to wanting to get it right. As a writer counselled, “Next time the inevitable human desire of being right bubbles up within you — remember that it’s more important to get it right, not be right, and more important to be right than have been right.” Know, as Paulson observed, that “When we are committed to being right, it’s like we are being challenged to a duel and ready to defend our honour knowing there will be a winner and a loser.” Don’t let the need to be right take you on a journey to a place where nobody wins. Are you in a situation where there is a struggle on who is right? Rather than heat up the argument, be open and try to seek the other person’s perspective. Recognize what he or she is saying and identify areas to support the view before introducing your ideas or sharing your perspective. Let your desire to make the other party feel good guide you in your choice of words and how you share your ideas to enable you toe the path where everyone wins.
As you step out, be determined to pursue getting things right rather than being right. Be conscious that while getting things right helps you build valuable relationships, the pursuit of being right may only enhance your ego but destroy your valuable relationships and team cohesion.
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Prof. (Engr.) Esang Esitikot is a professor of occupational health and safety, a COREN-registed chemical engineer, public affairs analyst, certified management consultant, World Safety Organization Ambassador, marriage counsellor, youth mentor, reviewer for some international research journals and volunteer lecturer at the Institute of Health, Safety, Security and Environment, University of Uyo. He works for an international oil company and can be contacted via 08035103559 (Whatsapp only)
