Choose to be Better Rather than Bitter
3 min read
“You either get bitter or you get better. It’s that simple. You either take what has been dealt to you and allow it to make you a better person, or you allow it to tear you down. The choice does not belong to fate, it belongs to you,” so alluded Josh Shipp. To Sanober Khan, “This life has been a landscape of pain, and still, flowers bloom in it.” Let’s reflect on choosing to be better rather than bitter irrespective of what you experience.
Do you know that irrespective of what you experience, you can choose to be better rather than bitter? The fact is that the mindset you have towards what you face in life determines the outcome you get. As Bill Crawford said, “The meaning that we attach to our stories makes us either bitter or better. I suggest we do this by choice, and not by chance.” Unfortunately, you have no control over some things and so can either choose to be bitter towards them or see them from an angle that will make you better. As Gayle Schiller said, “It is so easy to go the route of anger, resentment, self-pity, and the should-have mentality.” Such response is worth fighting against because it will eat you alive while you gain nothing. Bill Crawford might have had that in mind when he declared, “Bitterness does more damage to the vessel in which it is stored than the vessel on which it is poured.” In the words of Pema Chödrön, “We think that the point is to pass the test or to overcome the problem, but the truth is that things don’t really get solved. They come together, and they fall apart. Then they come together again and fall apart again. It’s just like that. The healing comes from letting there be room for all of this to happen: room for grief, for relief, for misery, for joy.”
So, enhance your capacity to utilize even a supposedly bitter situation to your advantage. As Jennifer Healey said, “A situation that once hurt you can teach you to be a more patient and forgiving person. A person who left you can teach you self-respect and to trust your ability to rise up and carry on. A dream shattered can humble you to the point of despair, a vantage point (and sacred ground) from which a new story can be told.” As Paulo Coelho counselled, “Don’t allow your wounds to transform you into someone you are not.” Ian Thomas added, “Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let pain make you hate. Do not let bitterness steal your sweetness. Take pride that even though the rest of the world may disagree, you still believe it to be a beautiful place.” Listen to Gayle Schiller: “Just always remember: ‘bad’ things will happen, but there is more good than bad. There is more happiness than sorrow. There’s more life than death. It is all around us, as long as we are open to it.”
As you step out, be conscious of Martin Luther King Jr.’s counsel: “We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope.” In any situation you find yourself, explore the options that will make you better rather than bitter.
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Prof. (Engr.) Esang Esitikot is a professor of occupational health and safety, a COREN-registed chemical engineer, public affairs analyst, certified management consultant, World Safety Organization Ambassador, recognized Environmental Ambassador, marriage counsellor, youth mentor, reviewer for some international research journals and volunteer lecturer at the Institute of Health, Safety, Security and Environment, University of Uyo. He works for an international oil company and can be contacted via 08035103559 (Whatsapp only).
