“Don’t confuse my personality with my attitude. My personality is who I am. My attitude depends on who you are,” so alluded Frank Ocean. However, Michael Johnson declared, “Be who you are in every situation.” Carl Jung added, “I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become.” Let’s reflect on aligning your personality with your attitude.
Do you often let what people do or how they treat you determine your attitude? Are people confused because of the observed contradiction between your personality and your attitude? According to Urja Pandya, attitude and personality are used interchangeably but there is a key difference between these two words – “Personality is basically defined as the quality of an individual. Simply, it defines who we are” whereas “Attitude is all about thinking or feelings of an individual about a particular topic or a person or a place. Depending on the experience, there is the possibility that an individual might change their attitude.” While you have no control over how others act, you should hold yourself responsible for your actions and inactions. You should own your attitude. As Charles Swindoll noted, “Attitude to me is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than success, than what other people think, say or do. It is more important than appearance, gift, or skill. It will make or break a company…a church…a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day…I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you… we are in charge of our attitudes.”
So, explore ways to let your attitude be driven by your personality. Recognize, as Eric Erikson said, that the more you know yourself, the more patience you have for what you see in others. Though personality is static and attitude dynamic, as Pandya noted, your goal would be not to let your attitude become so dynamic that it goes outside the sphere of your personality. As Clark University advised, always listen to your internal dialogue – “When faced with a negative thought, turn it around to make it into a positive thought.” Listen to Maryn Liles’ counsel to always encourage yourself to look on the bright side of things, to take the high road, and to have a sunny outlook on life. Such mindset may regulate your attitude and keep it within the range of your personality. When your situation seems odd and your attitude seems to deviate from your personality, Frances Burnett reminded: “If you look the right way, you can see that the whole world is a garden.”
As you step out, Clark University advised: “It is important to take responsibility for your actions, thoughts and feelings.” Know that nobody can make you feel any way that you do not want to feel. Be conscious that nobody is perfect and that includes you. While being proud of your accomplishments, hard work and the progress you’ve made so far, commit to continuously watch out to ensure your attitude does not betray your personality.
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Dr. (Engr.) Esang Esitikot is a COREN-registed chemical engineer, an HSE professional, a public affairs analyst, marriage counsellor, youth mentor and volunteer lecturer at the Institute of Health, Safety, Security and Environment, University of Uyo. He works for an international oil company and can be contacted via 08035103559 (Whatsapp only).
