“Culture is the invisible anchor that gives a society its identity, grounding its people even as they sail into the uncharted waters of modernity. As the eminent Nigerian scholar Chinua Achebe once observed, “A man who calls his kinsmen to a feast does not do so to save them from starving… we come together because it is good for kinsmen to do so”. This communal togetherness hinges entirely on shared norms, deference, and decorum. Yet, in our headlong rush towards global parity, there is a growing concern that we are trading this sacred collectivism for an uncritical, imported individualism. The recent encounter between billionaire philanthropist Tony Elumelu and a young female graduate trainee during a public corporate event serves as a stark, cautionary mirror. When the young lady casually greeted the banking icon with a breezy “Good morning, Tony,” it sent ripples through the national consciousness, prompting Elumelu to gently insist on “Mr. Elumelu” or “TOE,” flatly declaring that he does not subscribe to such “Oyinbo life”. Let’s reflect on the deeper cultural implications of this exchange.
Do you know that the “Good Morning, Tony” encounter exposes a fundamental flaw in the misplaced Americanization of the Nigerian culture of respect? While civilization and global integration are excellent, there seems to be a confused attempt to replace a beautiful, time-tested heritage with a strange, context-deaf social attitude. While the courage and confidence of the new generation are traits to celebrate, admire, and cherish, boldness alone is an inadequate compass in the real world. Young people must cultivate vital soft skills like reading the room, high emotional intelligence, sharp social intelligence, and a deep reverence for cultural boundaries. They must come to understand that how to show respect depends heavily on the immediate environment and that genuine deference can open high-level doors that mere audacity can never unlock. Boldness should never serve as a convenient alibi for overlooking core values or shedding basic sensitivity when interacting with leaders and elders. In seeking modernity, we must not allow “civilization” to wipe away our cherished heritage, nor should our youth view cultural values as signs of being uncivilized. They ought to recognize that not all things that are lawful are expedient, and not everything that is technically permissible in an international handbook is culturally correct in a local hall. It is high time Nigeria as a sovereign nation clearly defined the limits of what we import from foreign cultures and institutionally protected our national ethos.
So, enhance your capacity to navigate diverse social terrains with tact, cultural fluency, and unshakeable self-awareness. Recognize that true sophistication is not the mimicry of foreign informality, but the wisdom to discern when to apply formal honorifics and when to embrace casual camaraderie. Do not mistake arrogance for confidence, nor assume that stripping away traditional titles makes you appear more enlightened or corporate. Instead, double down on emotional intelligence, listening far more closely to contextual cues before you speak into a room. Commit to honouring those who have paved the way before you, understanding that humility in speech costs nothing yet yields priceless social capital. Strive to balance the fire of youth with the patience of tradition, proving that an African can be globally competitive without becoming culturally hollow. Take intentional steps today to mentor your peers, model respectful engagement in professional, social, religious and political spaces, and protect the foundational dignity that defines our national identity.
As you step out each day into a fast-evolving world, carry your cultural heritage not as a burdensome relic of the past, but as your most distinguished badge of honour. Remember always that while talent and audacity may get you into the room, it is your reverence for value systems, social intelligence, and humility that will keep you seated at the table. Walk boldly, speak wisely, and never let the pursuit of global acceptance erase the timeless respect that truly makes us who we are.
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Esang Esitikot, a chemical engineer, is a professor of occupational health and safety. He is a public affairs analyst, UN Ambassador for Peace, and a pro bono lecturer at the Institute of Health, Safety, Security and Environment, University of Uyo. He can be contacted via 08035103559 (Whatsapp only) or email (esitikot@gmail.com).
