“It is the fairness of life that makes it seem unfair,” so alluded Gift Mona. To Carlos Wallace, “We are often our own worst enemies. We create our own limitations and then complain that life is unfair.” Let’s reflect on life as fair, unfair, unfairly fair or fairly unfair.
Do you know that your perception about life influences what you get out of life? Some people share Gaurav Singh’s perspective that “The world is unfair. You realize it after a while and spend the rest of your life heaving under the weight of this realization. It’s a hard and inassimilable truth that can never be changed; people have tried to change it over ages and across the globe, failing miserably in the end.” Some life situations, as Vincent Nwachukwu described, may appear ironic: “Deserving ones don’t always get the acclaim. Some people are beautiful but unfortunate, struggling but failing, intelligent but poor, loving but despised. Those who deserve it don’t get it but those who get it don’t deserve it. Such is life.” Going further, the writer asked rhetorically, “Why would children be born to parents who use and abuse them while those who cherish and ‘garnish’ them remain ‘empty’? Why would the obdurate and cantankerous abound in wealth while the affectionate and generous pauperize? Why would the beautiful and dutiful lack suitors while the bland and unplanned are plenteously patronized? Why would everyday be for the thief and not for the chief? Why, why and why?” While the debate over life being fair or unfair persists, the fact remains that you have a big role to play in what you get out of life.
So, take active steps to maximize what you derive from life. Reject the victim’s mindset and adopt the empowered mindset. Recognize that whether life is fair or unfair may significantly depend on your perception and that perception may deepen the pit of “unfairness” or maximize the altitude of “fairness.” As Craig Lounsbrough noted, “We incessantly bemoan our disabilities as cruel curses that have unfairly beset us, which effectively blocks their infinitely greater ability to bless us.” Similarly, Mehmet Ildan counselled, “If we keep telling that life is unfair but do nothing serious about it, then life will forever continue to remain unfair!” Therefore, rather than resort to complaints and bitter feelings, take action to address what you consider unfair and strengthen what you think is fair. As Kamaran Salih entreated, “Do not be with the oppressor, help the oppressed and prevent the oppressor from being unfair.”
As you step out, shift your focus from how unfair life is to you. Rather focus on how you can make something fair even from a seemingly unfair situation. Always remember that what seems unfair or fair may be the products of the limitations of your understanding and perception. As Craig Lounsbrough counseled, “Rather than being incensed by the nature of the bruise, maybe we should be inspired by the possibilities in the bruise.”
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Dr. (Engr.) Esang Esitikot is a chemical engineer, an HSE professional, a public affairs analyst, marriage counsellor, youth mentor and volunteer lecturer at the Institute of Health, Safety, Security and Environment, University of Uyo. He works for an international oil company and can be contacted via 08035103559 (Whatsapp only).
