Lessons from My Marital Experience – Live, Don’t Die for Your Spouse
4 min read
“Any good man would be willing to die for his wife — to take the bullet that would have struck her, to welcome the pain that would have afflicted her. But it is the rare man who is willing to live for his wife — to set aside the selfishness that is always so close at hand and to instead live for her good and her joy.” These were the words of Tim Charllies. Let’s reflect on living for your spouse.
Do you know that you can hardly get the best from your relationship if you don’t live for each other? I’ve been asked before, “If you love your wife, can you die for her?” Unexpectedly, many people seem to be unaware that you can not die for what you are not willing to live for.
According to Kevin Thompson, “Being willing to die for one another is vital for a healthy marriage, but it doesn’t stop there. While every potential spouse needs to be asked, ‘Are you willing to die for her?’ there is a second question which needs to be asked. Are you willing to live for her?” Your spouse needs you alive, not dead, for him or her to derive the desired fulfilment in the relationship.
The implication is that if you’re not devoted to the relationship and passionately exploring ways to add smiles to your spouse’s face, it may be meaningless thinking of love in the context of dying for your spouse.
Living for him or her may be a more valuable need of your spouse. For instance, like some anonymous writers, can you whole heartedly declare to your spouse: “Having you in my life has been the best thing that has happened to me;” “Every day, you give me one more reason to love you. Thanks for coming into my life, and I love you more than you know;” “Your love enchants me, and all I want to see is just you. I stay up all night thinking of you. I’m incomplete without you;” “Forever may be far away, but thinking of what I would do without you is to lose focus forever;” “If I were to make one wish on this day, it would be to live with you today, tomorrow, and forever. This is because I can no longer live without you”?
So, enhance your capacity to be sincerely devoted to your spouse. Take your relationship to the level you can declare, as an anonymous source: “Since you entered my life, you have shown me how unconditional your love is. I am prepared to love you until the day I die.” Let your way of life say to your spouse, “Darling, let me be that person you can always count on, for I can not live without you.” Let your spouse continuously hear the unuttered message, “No matter where I go or what I do, I always think about you. My love, I can’t live without you.” Learn from the source that declared to his wife: “You are so special to my heart – everything I do, I do it for you. My life revolves around you.” Let your life and actions reflect the great value you attach to your spouse. Devote yourself to ensure your spouse finds fulfilment in you and eagerly looks forward to always being with you.
As you step out, emulate an anonymous source who declared to the spouse: “No matter the challenges in life or what life has to offer, I will never let you down. I will always be there for you because I can not live without you.” As another source advised, “If you find someone you love in your life, then hang on to that love.” Let your spouse experience the fullness of your love for him or her while you are alive. Live, don’t die, for your spouse.
- Prof. (Engr.) Esang Esitikot is a professor of occupational health and safety, a COREN-registered chemical engineer, public affairs analyst, certified management consultant, World Safety Organization Ambassador, recognized Environmental Ambassador, marriage counsellor, youth mentor, reviewer for some international research journals and volunteer lecturer at the Institute of Health, Safety, Security and Environment, University of Uyo. He is a manager in the oil and gas industry and was recently recognized by Highstone Global University, USA, as the occupational health and safety personality of 2024. He can be contacted via 08035103559 (Whatsapp only).
