Don’t Let Life Happen to You, Let Life Respond to You
“For as long as I could remember, I had been depressed, desperate, lonely, sad and ungrateful most of the time. But suddenly everything became so clear. I saw I had created my life down to the smallest detail. I decided to recreate it. I started seeing all the ‘painful’ things that had happened to me as invaluable learning experiences. I started seeing my bad luck as good luck. I started feeling gratitude for everything from the times my heart was broken, to whatever money was in my wallet at the end of the day. I started imagining myself with my arm around a kind, beautiful woman who was smiling at me. Finally seeing that ‘Life isn’t happening TO me. Life is RESPONDING to me.'” This was the confession of Brad who turned 19 years of failure to success. Let’s reflect on being in control of your life.
Do you often complain and blame others for what befalls you? When the undesirable happens to you, do you typically see yourself as helpless and possibly imagine how someone or others could be so heartless to “victimize” you? Or do you generally see life as against you while working positively for others? Is you worldview similar to that of a writer who declared, “Then I gave up. I gave up hope for anything and everything. I decided to really let go and stop fighting for what I want in life, and just take whatever happens”? The reality is that how you perceive your situation may determine the outcome you get – what you see may be what you get. If you adopt a victim’s mentality, then things will appear as against you and that may likely affect the result you get. But if you have the empowered mindset, you will see yourself as being in control rather than being a victim.
So, explore ways to change the frame of your mind for improved outcome from life. Consider looking at your situation from a more positive angle, a more of I’m-in-control perspective, a more of I-may-not-have-control-over-what-has-happened-but-I-can-still-do-something-to-make-the-situation-better mentality and a more of what-I-get-from-life-depends-on-my-actions mindset. Reject the temptation to see yourself as a victim – see yourself as empowered and so respond in ways that make you a victor. Train yourself to focus on what to do to let any situation you’re in work for you rather than against you. Be conscious, as Lou Holtz said, that “Life is ten percent what happens to you and ninety percent how you respond to it.” When the undesirable happens, remind yourself of Walter Anderson’s note: “Bad things do happen; how I respond to them defines my character and the quality of my life. I can choose to sit in perpetual sadness, immobilized by the gravity of my loss, or I can choose to rise from the pain and treasure the most precious gift I have – life itself.”
As you step out, be conscious of L. Lionel Kendrick’s declaration: “We cannot always control everything that happens to us in this life, but we can control how we respond. Many struggles come as problems and pressures that sometimes cause pain. Others come as temptations, trials and tribulations.” When faced with a situation you’re tempted to ask “Why me,” remember Aaron Gordon’s counsel: “Everybody has bad days, but how you respond to it is a testament to whether you are a winner or a loser.”
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Dr. (Engr.) Esang Esitikot is a COREN-registed chemical engineer, an HSE professional, a public affairs analyst, marriage counsellor, youth mentor and volunteer lecturer at the Institute of Health, Safety, Security and Environment, University of Uyo. He works for an international oil company and can be contacted via 08035103559 (Whatsapp only).
